My first time surfing: getting up and building confidence

““I want you to believe that you’ve been doing this your whole life. You’re an athlete. You can do this,” Kainoa McGee, my surf coach and waterman in Oahu, said as she held my board so I wouldn’t get swept away by the waves. I was 30 minutes into my first-ever surf lesson at Waikiki Beach and the taste of saltwater was starting to get overwhelming. My attempts to get on the board for the past half hour had me falling back into the ocean with every attempt.

We had only just met, but somehow McGee could tell that I was the type of person who was overly ambitious, critical, and overthinking. As I paddled back after (yet another) failed attempt, he told me, “Get out of your head.” And he was right. My fear of falling off the board literally caused me to fall off the board. In that moment, McGee felt like more than just a surf instructor and more like a life coach. His words could easily be applied to so many areas of my life. I just had to Get out of my head.

Surfing for the first time

Before a late summer family vacation to Hawaii, I had never surfed a day in my life. I had never even dreamed of trying the sport until the trip was planned. There aren’t many black female surfers to model after (at least none that I’d ever heard of or seen), so it was never an activity I could see myself doing. But I’ve always been drawn to new experiences, and you can sign me up for pretty much anything fitness-related. I got my first chance during a week in Waikiki and became one with the water and the waves.

I’m not exactly the strongest swimmer. I know a few basic survival skills: treading water, doggy paddle, and I can float on my back… so I basically know how to not drown! But “athletic” and efficient swimming is not my strong suit. But I am a 6-time marathoner, personal trainer, running coach, indoor cycling instructor, and I do yoga. There must be some athletic skills that are transferable, right?

Surfers look so cool, confident and strong, and in my head I felt like I could emulate that.

My lack of experience (and faltering confidence) with water sports didn’t stop me from taking on the challenge. Surfers look so cool, confident, and strong. In my head, I felt like I could somehow emulate that. I’m a Virgo, after all! Trying new things and learning how to master them is kind of my thing. Plus, research shows that new experiences are good for our emotional health, according to UW Medicine. They can give us a hit of dopamine (those feel-good chemicals) and a sense of accomplishment. So I knew it was going to be tough, but I also knew that if I could do it, it would be worth it.

Surfing is possible at the surf school

When you’re about to try something scary for the first time, it’s best to set yourself up for success. So for surfing, the first step was finding the perfect place to take lessons. On Oahu, there are a lot ofbut finding the right fig was important to me: I’m a pretty hands-on learner, so I wanted an instructor who would be patient with me and happily answer the flood of questions I knew I would have. On my first day in Hawaii, I went for a run and ran past a bright, flashy yellow school bus with the words “surf school bus” on it. Yes, please. I wanted to know which surf school in Waikiki would take me back to the days of boarding a yellow school bus (I loved the nostalgia!).

It turned out to be the Ohana Surf Project, an organization that prides itself on having a “family-centered approach” and, like family, improving the lives of others. I was sold. I booked a two-hour private lesson for the next day (my birthday) and packed the essentials: swimsuit, towel, and a good attitude for a day of trying something new, with the high probability of failure.

I arrived at the Ohana Surf Project home base 15 minutes before my lesson was scheduled to start. I was given a long-sleeved shirt to throw over my bikini and water shoes to protect my feet from the rocks and reef at the bottom of the ocean. A group of us sat down for a brief orientation and presentation on water safety. It turned out that you don’t have to be a good swimmer to surf (according to one of the instructors), and I was excited. Things you do need: balance, upper body strength, and an aloha attitude. Then we boarded the surf school bus to head to the beach.

The water at Waikiki Beach is so beautiful it seems fake. Crystal clear blue, white sand and gentle waves crashing into the Pacific Ocean… a total dream. I couldn’t wait to jump in. But first it was time to meet the man who would make my surfing dreams come true.

Meet my coach, Kainoa McGee

After getting off the bus, I was introduced to Kainoa McGee. McGee was born and raised in Hawaii and has been a surf instructor and competitive swimmer for over a decade. I could tell he knew what he was doing: McGee just has that Look, to like yeah, that man can dominate some waves.

When he was assigned to me, another instructor leaned over and said, “You’re in good hands,” and my wavering confidence felt a little stronger. McGee greeted me warmly and we walked to a shady spot in the grass before heading out to the water. The first thing we did was a few exercises to activate our surfing muscles. Warming up? That’s something I can do! We did arm circles to wake up our arms and shoulders (essential muscle groups for paddling) and twisting lunges to get our legs and core ready to go.

From there it was time to practice my surfing stance. I lay in the grass pretending there was a surfboard underneath me and McGee instructed me on how to lift myself up to a standing position. It’s almost like a burpee, with a few modifications. Your hands stay close to your chest, your core squeezed, then you jump up, parallel to the board, with your feet wide and your knees slightly bent. On land, I was doing great! But could I replicate it in the water?

On land I was ready for it! But could I recreate it in the water?

McGee and I each grabbed the end of a surfboard and carried them to the edge of the ocean. It was finally time to put myself to the test, and the only options were to surf, swim, or sink. I was bubbling with excitement and nerves. We waded in and were immediately engulfed by a wave. I didn’t even get a chance to get in the water and feel the temperature, but I took it as a sign that it was time to dive in. It was a warm, sunny day; the water felt cool and refreshing. I climbed onto the board and paddled out into the water.

More lessons than just surfing

As expected, the first few attempts to get on the board were unsuccessful. McGee gave me a good push when a wave came in so I didn’t have to paddle too hard. Then I tried to do what we had practiced on land: push ups and bring my right leg forward on the board, standing parallel and balanced. Easier said than done.

The water felt good, but I was determined to get on that board. Thirty minutes into my lesson, as I paddled back to McGee for another try, he spoke the words to me that I will never forget: You’re an athlete. You can do this. Get out of your head.

Get out of your head.

The next wave came at us and he gave me a little push. The sound of the water spraying under my board filled my ears. I felt like I was floating. Then I heard McGee yell, “Up!” I gently lifted my chest, swung my leg forward and stood up.

I was surfing!

I rode my first wave all the way. I could hear McGee and the instructors cheering. The feeling was magical and from that first wave to the end of my session I was catching waves and taking names.

The imposter syndrome hit me in waves too

After my private lesson I felt encouraged to keep practicing. Plus there were plenty of surf shops that rented out surfboards. I found the closest shop to my Airbnb and walked in with the intention of picking up a board for the day. The vibes felt right away out. The two men working in the store didn’t notice me coming in or looking at the store’s stuff. Finally, I asked how much it cost to rent a board. The employee looked me up and down and said, “Have you ever surfed before?”

I was shocked. That didn’t answer my question, and what does a surfer “look like” anyway? I told him I had surfed before. He then tried to talk me into buying a surf lesson package, rather than answering my original question. After I explained that I had taken a private lesson earlier that week, he dismissively said, “Oh. Well, I guess you can rent one,” before walking away.

I absolutely could not do business with them. I walked out of the surf shop feeling pretty discouraged. Did I belong here? Had I gone too far by trying to do it myself? I felt the imposter syndrome taking over and headed back to the Airbnb.

Did I belong here? Did I go too far to try this on my own?

I told my mom about the exchange and of course she went into indignant mom mode. “You’re getting back in that water! You’re a surfer!” she exclaimed. She made it her personal mission to help me find another surf shop that was more welcoming. After a short walk we stumbled upon a board rental stand at Billabong.

A woman at the front desk greeted us with a friendly smile. I explained to her that I was a beginner but was hoping to rent a board so I could continue practicing. She spent 20 minutes talking to me explaining which board would be best for me, discussing the wave conditions with me, and encouraging me to get in the water early so I could have a good session. This was the kind of interaction I needed.

Catching waves and building self-confidence

For the remainder of my trip, I rented a surfboard from the Billabong stand. Following her advice, I woke up around 8am to have some breakfast and then hit the water where the more experienced surfers were gathering. I made sure to stay out of their way while observing their technique – the way they paddled, positioned themselves in relation to the waves and so seamlessly got onto their boards.

After 30 minutes of ‘studying’ I felt ready to catch my own waves solo. McGee didn’t push me, but I heard him say, ‘Get out of your head. You’ve been doing this your whole life.’

When a wave came, I paddled difficult. I listened to that whooshing sound and the feeling of water welling up under my board. I carefully lifted my body, stood on my surfboard and held the position. I did it.

I rode the wave until it died and my board went silent. When I landed again, I heard a round of applause from a few beachgoers on the sand. Take that, surf shop guy. I am a surfer.